BEING FAT IS PERFECTLY OKAY!

Okay. Let’s go on a little rant here, shall we?

I saw this video on tumblr and within the first 25-35 seconds, I became enraged at the bigotry and close mindedness that is this blond guest bitch.
First off, Alison (singer/artist) went from a size 22 to a size 10 and wants to return to her chubby size
Rachel, red-head, is a plus sized model and supports Alison’s decision. However, Katie (career unknown), says that “fat and beautiful” is just an excuse to not work out.

LET ME MAKE A LIST WHILE I WATCH THE VIDEO OF THINGS THAT ARE WRONG/CORRECT:

  1. IF YOU WANT TO BE FAT THEN BE FAT! DON’T LET ANYBODY TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT! IF YOU THINK YOU LOOK BETTER AS A BIGGER PERSON, THEN SO BE IT! YOU CAN BE FAT AND HEALTHY! JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE FAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE HEALTH ISSUES!
  2. Being fat and being confident and comfortable with your body is not a declination of wanting to get exercise.
  3. To say that you believe someone is in denial because they are big and have confidence is superfluous and invalid. I believe that I am beautiful and for the first time I’m announcing that I am a size 22 JUST LIKE ALISON! (the girl who went from a size 22 to a size 10)
  4. Katie says “[Being fat] is just an excuse for eating as much as you want”. CORRECTION! Just because you are fat does not mean you are gorging yourself all day long. Granted, bigger people may eat bigger portions, but that is not always the case. Some women who are bigger have slower metabolism than that of other women.
  5. Katie also says “To call yourself ‘plus sized’ is simply a euphuism of being fat and who wants to be fat?” WELL OBVIOUS THE PLUS SIZED WOMAN SITTING NEXT TO YOU, YOU IGNORANT FUCK! And also the woman who lost weight and is now working to gain it back.
  6. Rachel, the plus sized model featured on the show, believes that losing or not losing weight is purely based on being healthy. YOU CAN BE FAT AND BE HEALTHY! YOU CAN BE SKINNY AND BE HEALTHY! YOU CAN HAVE A CHUB OF A BELLY AND BE PERFECTLY HEALTHY!
  7. Katie says “If you are  obese, you are less healthy.” Not necessarily, there miss blondie. Ever met a skinny girl? A morbidly skinny woman? Or man. That is also LESS HEALTHY! It’s not just obesity, it is also those men and women that starve themselves and get below their weight and become unhealthy (“less healthy”) that is ALSO AN ISSUE!
  8. Katie is upset that there is a plus sized section in stores for children 3-16. THAT IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM! THAT IS THE PARENTS PROBLEM FOR HAVING POOR DIET FOR THEIR CHILDREN! Granted, overweight children may have health issues, BUT IF THEY DON’T AND THEY’RE JUST FUCKING FAT THEN THAT IS PERFECTLY FINE!
  9. The woman co-host brings up anorexia in children 5-7 and KATIE SAYS IT IS “AN EXTREME EXAMPLE”! Oh, really? And your example of walking into a clothing store and seeing a plus sized section for children is not an “extreme example”?
  10. Rachel says “Children should be allowed to be children and I don’t think that the looks should come into whatsoever. We should be teaching tolerance and balance in their lives as opposed to being looks associated and obsessing about how other people perceive you.” EXACTLY
  11. Rachel says she feels intimidating just going out in jogging attire and has a hard time finding flattering outfits because of her size. Society sees fat women (and men) as lazy, unmotivated and a danger to the youth by encouraging them to be overweight. Which is absurd in every way.
  12. Katie retorts that “big is not beautiful” due to the fact that flattering clothes are not found in sizes 12 and up. WHICH IS NOT THE FAT PERSONS PROBLEM! IT IS SOCIETY! FAT PEOPLE CAN’T FIND CUTE AND FLATTERING CLOTHES IN THEIR SIZE BECAUSE SOCIETY SAYS YOU ARE NOT SEXY FOR BEING THIS BIG AND YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO FEEL AND LOOK AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU FEEL! THIS IS FUCKED UP AND NOT RACHELS FAULT AT ALL! NOR IS IT ALISONS! NOR IS IT ANY WOMAN OR MAN THAT DESIRES TO WEAR CLOTHING THAT SMALLER PEOPLE WEAR!
  13. JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE SKINNY DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU ARE HAPPY AND HAVE LOADS OF ENERGY! Again, restating my previous statement. You can be skinny and be miserable. You can be skinny and have health issues. You can be skinny and not beautiful. You can be skinny and absolutely hideous for the way you act and treat people.
  14. BEAUTY IS BASED ON HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF AND HOW OTHERS SEE YOU! IT IS NOT NUMBERS ON A FUCKING SCALE!
  15. The social media tells women (and men) that if you want to be beautiful, you must be skinny and fit and aesthetically appealing in order to be healthy WHICH IS WRONG!

At about 7 minutes in, I felt as if I was repeating myself. The blond bitch, Katie, keeps pushing the “fact” that skinny is where everyone aspires to be. No. People aspire to be happy and healthy. If that means you’re a size 26 or a size 2, IT SHOULD NOT MATTER! If you’re happy, healthy, confident, have pride in yourself and your future then you are.

You are what you see yourself as!
You are whatever you want to be!
It’s your body and your life and if someone has a problem with YOUR body and YOUR life, then apparently they have some body-issues of their own that they are not satisfied with.

I am a size 22 and I am perfectly fine with that! I have been ridiculed my whole life for being overweight, but it’s what I’ve always been! I’m comfortable with it. Granted, I’m working on getting healthier and losing a bit of weight, but I still plan on being fat/chubby. I don’t want to be model thin or fit or anything like that. I’d like to get down a few jean sizes so it’s easier and cheaper to find pants to fit me. I also want to get rid of my arm fat so I can wear dresses.
AND THAT’S OKAY! YOU CAN BE A SIZE 16/18 AND BE PERFECTLY BEAUTIFUL AND THAT IS OH FUCKING KAY!

I just want to punch that Katie twat in the fucking nose.

*breathes*

Any questions or concerns you can leave them in the comment section.

Thank you and have a great day.

Everything hurts…

“”Hey, I don’t think this is public information yet,
but I know he had an impact on you,
so I feel like you should know:
Mr. Bryant died.”

My immediate thought when I received the text message was “I never sent that letter”. I had written you a letter in September 2012, put it in an envelope and was ready to mail off for you to read. In it, I expressed how much you meant to me during my high school years. I thanked you for letting me be a part of your class and your philosophy. I thanked you for giving me books to read and making me laugh at your dirty jokes. I thanked you for consoling me during emotional times and listening to me when I needed to amplify my voice. You were an inspiration, a man who guided me to myself, a man who never turned anybody away. I love you.

After the text came the tears, spontaneously bursting out of my eyes like Mentos in Coke. Heaving sobs of pain and regret of not sending that letter. Not letting him know how much meant to me, though little time we spent together within the confines of that classroom and those hallways.

He taught me not to judge, to joke about things and when to be sincere. He taught me about growing up, the tragedies of becoming an adult. He always smelled like cigarettes, had that cup of coffee in his hand and his pony tail pulled back. On occasion he would let his grey, thin hair lay down his back or across his shoulders, mostly during prom or formal events.

His classroom was like the land of misfit children. And I was one of those children. He would write anyone a note so they could come relax in his safe room during Study Hall. He would get in trouble sometimes because of this, but he always bent the rules. He didn’t care. High school shouldn’t be a place where you run from or are scared to be in, and he understood that. I used those precious 30-45 minutes of “Study Hall” to be alone at a desk by myself, sleep, actually study (on rare circumstances), and to be around the people I could relate to, the ones I loved most.

He made high school bearable.

Joe Bryant is one of my academic idols, a mentor. I always aspired to be like him if I ever became a teacher.
And when/if I do become a teacher, I will have a box of batteries hanging on my classroom wall in memory.

Mr. Bryant
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A Visit from Dr.T Guy Fortney

A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to listen to Dr.T Guy Fortney speak to my Jewish-American Literature class at Middle Tennessee State University (MTSU). Being a Jewish & Holocaust Studies Minor, I was a bit overly excited for this occasion.

Dr.Fortney was merely 20 years old when entering the United States military during WWII. His presentation about his personal experience during 1944-1946 was eye-opening to say the least. I have ready many a Holocaust memoir, but nothing compares to actually witnessing someone present to you their witness accounts on the actual event. A specific memory he shared with everyone in the Parliamentary Room was set in Ohrdruf, Germany on April 4th, 1945. On this day, Fortney’s fellow troops came across an unknown camp: Stalag III Nord which is located 100 miles southeast of Berlin.

At the entrance of this camp when his troops arrived was a dead female German guard. It was assumed she was beaten to death by the look of the photograph he presents. By the time Fortney arrived to the site (around 3:00 or 4:00 PM), her body had been moved. Upon further investigation of the camp, there lay a heap of human bodies. Fortney provided visual evidence of this as well. A noisy black and white picture displayed malnutritious skin skeletons sprawled across the dirt.

Among the “tour” these soldiers experienced, they discovered two wooden gallows. A stray prisoner explained to these US military men that the two gallows were used as a means of punishment; instead of rope, the Germans used wire to strangle the victim. Because of the low drop, it caused the victim to die by slow strangulation or temporary torture.

Bodies. Stacks upon stacks upon stacks of naked human skeletons with thin skin stretched across the bones. All documentation had been destroyed in the camp. The German officers had fled, leaving behind their evidence of these decaying corpses and wandering prisoners, unsure of what to do next.

The wandering prisoners also showed the American officers and generals another torture device: The Whipping Table. This small table would have a prisoner stretched out across the top from the waist to their wrists. At the end of the table, their wrists would be locked onto the top of the table; their feet on the ground or (if the victim may be child size) dangling. Then the whipping of backs with a steel wire would ensue. This caused the American soldiers to become enraged with the ultimate hatred towards the Germans.

It has been said that the mayor and his wife of Ohrdruf, Germany committed suicide after visiting the camp when it was discovered. Whether it be because they were shocked that a massacre of this magnitude had been happening on their grounds or they felt they could never explain this to the public, we may never know.

April 5th, according to Fortney, the Americans had led the fellow citizens of Ohrdruf to visit Stalag III. It was mandatory for these people to know and see what was going on right in their own backyard. They could not believe what they saw, smelled, and learned.

A few days after that little community field trip, clean up commenced. There were trenches of bodies yet to be burned. American soldiers dragged those bodies out to identify them as best they could in order to notify families and have a proper burial. There were thousands unidentified, but still given a respectful ceremony and blank coffins.

I am more than grateful to have this opportunity to hear Fortney’s testimony. It was so surreal.

In the fall, the Jewish & Holocaust Studies department is having a four-day event called a  Jewish Holocaust Conference. Liberators and Holocaust Survivors will come to speak. Because of my minor, I will be volunteering to help out and I am more than honored to do so.

 

You threw off the Emperor’s Groove!

                In 1617 during modern Europe times, there was this dude Matthias. Matt was the Holy Roman Emperor and because he had no offspring, he wanted to elect his cousin, Ferdinand, to secede him. Since cousin Ferdi was a devout catholic, Matthias believed that 

Ferdinand II

he would be the ideal emperor after Matthias’s ruling as king of Bohemia. Also during this year, the constructions of Protestant chapels were ceased in Broumov and Hrob. This dishonored the religious freedom that Emperor Rudolf II had laid down back in 1609.

Just take a gander at this grown man. You can tell he’s up to some hood rat shit just by the expression on his mug. Look at dat! Ain’t that some shit!

Because Ferdi is a BAMF, he disregarded the strict regulations that the Protestant nobles set forth unto him concerning his new religious and political powers. Everyone else that was elected for the position of king was just as rebellious.  Ferdinand’s ruthlessness towards the religious privileges of the Protestants inspired some noblemen, William Slavata and Jaroslav Martinic, to go forth to the palace in Prague with the intentions of raising absolute hell. On May 23, 1618, these little badass thugs took two of the king’s chief advisers and hurled them out of an upper story window. Can you imagine?! 

These little gangstuh thugs be throwing cheif dudes out the window! What kind of shit is that?!

Luckily those sky divers landed in a soft mound of manure. They survived and this incident went down in history as The Defenstration fo Prague which was like the pre-party for the Thirty Years’ War.

Citizens were terrified of Ferdi’s outlook and procedures on religion; wanting to force Catholicism onto those who practiced Calvinism in the Holy Roman Empire. He was like “BUT IMMA BE KING AN U WURSHIP MA WAY, K?” and the towns people of Bohemia were like “HAHA LOLno.” This dispute over religious differences between the Catholics and Protestants led to a big uprising in the Protestant communities in Hungary and Bohemia. In 1619, Matty-boy died and Ferdinand II was left to take the throne and land.  

 

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Judy Moody

A few years ago my grandmother, father’s mother, was diagnosed with Dementia which is a generalized term for Alzheimer’s. I remember the day she went to the doctor where she was to be tested. It was scorching hot out and I had just been picked up from high school by both grandparents. I didn’t have a car of my own at the time.  I remember on the drive there, I overheard Mammie and Papa talking about the upcoming appointment. While napping in the back row of the van, I heard Mammie say, “I know what I got! It’s that damn Alzheimer’s! That’s why I can’t remember shit anymore!” She was frustrated to say the least. Partially crying; partially yelling. Papa just kept quiet and puffed on his Winston reds.

I didn’t know it at the time the process of Alzheimer’s and how memories and thoughts slowly deteriorate. It’s kind of one of those diseases you hear about through word of mouth, casually spoken about at school, displayed in a commercial or movie or whatnot. The Alzheimer’s Association defines Alzheimer’s as “…a type of dementia that causes problems with memory, thinking and behavior. Symptoms usually develop slowly and get worse over time, becoming severe enough to interfere with daily tasks.” I believe “interfere” is an understatement here. Nothing can really prepare you for what happens when a person is diagnosed with such an ailment.

I began noticing little things Mammie does like asking me questions twice, forgetting why she walked into a room, can’t remember if I said tea or coke when asking me if I would like a beverage, rather simple things. Over time, she has mistaken me for my aunt, is constantly walking to and from the front door to make sure it’s locked. She checks the mail at least three times a day even if it’s Sunday or she’s already received the mail. I suppose she has good dementia habits such as making sure the house is safe and asking Papa if she has taken her medication. Yet there are some negative things about her that worry me. She doesn’t eat proper meals. She mostly consumes Coca-Colas and snack foods and she hasn’t quit smoking. She also constantly asks why day it is. Sometimes she bursts into heaving sobs of tears, saying how she misses her mother or for no reason at all. Sometimes she gets scared that she can’t remember things and that makes her cry.

Papa leans in to steal a kiss from a giddy grinning Mammie in the snow in the early years of their marriage.

I remember Mammie growing up. She used to fool around with her foul mouth and childish pranks of pulling people’s pants down to their ankles. She tackled me to the ground once to pull out my last baby tooth. I remember her cooking big meals on Sundays, birthdays and holidays for the whole family. She was so fun and bubbly.
I miss that Mammie so much.

Although there isn’t a cure for Alzheimer’s, there are ways to slow the process. My grandmother takes about twenty pills throughout the day. It helps with her mood, appetite, hormones to keep her emotions balanced. It’s a lot of work. I don’t see how Papa, my grandfather, does it. He must really love her. I’m sure since you’ve been reading this, you’ve thought of the movie The Notebook.  If not, well you’re thinking of it now! That movie really gets to me now seeing as how Allie has Noah read her that book every single day. That’s real love. That really happens. I knew if Papa were to write down their love story, he’d read it to her every day so she wouldn’t forget, to try and make her remember. Papa loves Mammie so much, I can just feel my heart burst every time they crack jokes or tell one another they love them. I suppose another treatment for Alzheimer’s is love, although Mammie still has her days…

MTSU History Club Adventures: Lincoln

I was instantly excited in September when I began seeing these previews on television about a movie based on the last months of Lincoln’s second term. None of my friends were as interested as me and I assumed I would have to venture to the theater to watch it alone.
Closer to the release date, I received an email from Dr. Amy Sayward inviting me to go see “Lincoln” with the rest of the History Club. I jumped on that! My first History Club meeting and it’s going to a movie? Please. This is perfect. https://i1.wp.com/media.washtimes.com/media/community/viewpoint/entry/2012/11/07/Lincoln_2-001_s640x427.jpg

Friday, we attended the matinee of “Lincoln”, directed by Stephen Spielberg. Although it was two and a half hours long, it was definitely worth the extended viewing. The movie is set during 1864 when Lincoln was re-elected and his attempt to abolish slavery. Daniel Day-Lewis, whom plays Abraham Lincoln, blows this film out of the water! His acting was spot on. He portrayed himself as a loving caring father, outspoken politician when with his cabinet members and a very concerned husband when confronting his wife about her mental issues. This film is so in depth and everything is so authentic: from the furniture to the wardrobe; from the actors similarity of their character to the dialog. I found myself even laughing hysterically during parts. Tommy Lee Jones, of whom plays Thaddeus Stevens, plays more of the comedic release. His snide remarks and comments made me tear up with the giggles a few times.

I’m sure my readers would like to be informed of the context and knowledge that is gained through watching this movie. Sadly, I will not be giving that information away. Buy the ticket. See the movie. Everyone who ever attended elementary through high school know the basic Abraham Lincoln story. After watching this, I am enlightened.

I’m not much into American History, but this movie may have sparked my interests.
My preferred History era regards World War II Germany / Holocaust.

Making History — Quite Literally

I haven’t really posted about my life on here in a while, so here it goes:

I recently changed my major from Anthropology to History. This was a tough decision and I was contemplating it all summer. When classes began I thought about it even more in-depth. While I am fascinated with past civilizations such as the Incas, Mayans and early Mediterranean settlers, my heart has always been with the Holocaust. Now, some people find me mad for being obsessed with such a morbid subject, but I can’t justify my actions. I own six eBooks and a whole shelf on my bookshelf dedicated to the history of the Holocaust, WWII Nazi Germany and memoirs of Holocaust survivors. My collection is growing and my Wish List on Amazon is getting out of hand. So far, the books on my Wish List total out to about $350. I NEED THEM ALL!

Back to my college career, I had my first advising meeting back in October. My adviser notified me that during my junior year (which is a year and a half away, mind you), I will be researching, writing, and presenting my own works at a convention in Florida. My subject? The Holocaust. It was at this moment, I burst into happy sobs of excitement. My adviser simply admired my extreme nerdiness at the moment and gave me a smirk. She couldn’t express how glad she was that I found the History Department. For a minute there we both geeked out to discuss WWII and the book she wrote, published and received a $10,000 grant for. She wasn’t even phased when I told her I am an atheist. I felt like comrades. After picking out classes for the Spring Semester 2012 (which I will post below), she took me around to meet the heads of the History Department. They were all so kind, nerdy, quirky, playful, funny, JUST EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED FROM A COLLEGE UNIVERSITY!! Whew! Sorry… My heart is in History and I’ve found what I want to do for the rest of my life. With Anthropology, yes it was interesting and held my attention, but majoring in History with a double minor in Holocaust Studies and German Language just tugs at my heart and gets me so emotionally excited for the future I can’t even form coherent sentences to express ahigwanlvnaervjiksfgewfgsdfg

Moving on…

Aside from college life, work life gives me the polar opposite feeling. I’m starting to dislike the majority of the people I work with, but there’s not much I can do about that. I can’t talk about specifics or whom I’m disliking (although it is blatantly obvious when I’m working). I could lose my job or be severely penalized for giving out the deetz on social networking sites or blogs such as this. Therefore, I have resulted in keeping these feelings and thoughts bottled up, which I have learned from past experience is not healthy. I bought a journal at the beginning of the semester for the sole purpose of writing down things such as those that I have been “bottling up”. When I write in it, I feel silly. I feel like I’m Harriet the Spy. I have this deep horror inside of me that someone will acquire my journal and read it to everyone over the loud-speaker at my work. Or worse, post it on the internet for everybody I know to see. Not only is that fear prodding at me, I feel judgement from others when they see me scratch away at the paper within my Moleskine journal. I have a few friends I can talk to regarding my views on my female c-workers, but I feel as though I will burden them with my superfluous ramblings. So for now, I suppose I’ll keep things bottled up and written down.

 

 

Spring Term 2013

  • [History 1020] Survey of Western Civilization II
  • [German 1010] Elementary German I
  • [English 2020] Themes in Literature: Jewish American Identity
*I am only able to take three classes due to financial reasons. If I could, I would take five classes, trust me. (:  *